Spirituality: Anger and Judgement

From time to time I struggle with what I should post on this blog. I often wonder if what I write is useful and what people actually choose to do. I often wonder if what I write is appropriate and what people think about it. I struggle to educate and yet not divulge my personal life.  I am a firm a believer that everything happens for a reason and recently multiple events have occurred in my life that have given me confirmation that I need to write about spirituality.  Given today is Halloween it seems a good day to do that.

 Halloween originated as  a spiritual and religious holiday.  It began when the Celts celebrated their New Year (November 1st) with the Samhain festival.  History suggests that many years ago the Catholic church attempted to take over the holiday with All Saints Day to crush the Celtic traditions.  A brief introduction to the history of Halloween will fascinate you.  It is in the spirit of this holiday and its history that I am writing today.

Just as the Catholics attempted to destroy the Celtic traditions man attempts to destroy fellow-man.  The judgements passed astound me.  The ego overrides the peace that is within.  The need to be right and the need to feel superior seemingly take over the love that resides within the body, within in the spirit.  The conscious unaware.

The past few years I have experienced this judgment time and time again.  I have colored outside the lines to a point that few really understand me. I often feel like I have to pretend to be someone I am not in order to survive in a world that makes no sense to me.  I have taken things to an extreme and then I realize, like a rubber band, I have to bounce back and find equilibrium. I do not take the governments word or even what a priest says without doing thorough investigation of all of the facts. It does not make sense to me to simply assume something is truth without gathering evidence. My experience proves that there is so much more to any given situation. I do this because I am competitive, because I am driven, because I am a perfectionist, because I want to be successful, AND because I am passionate.  When something happens in my life I will research it. I will read 10 books and find 25 websites to further my knowledge or to validate my experience, but most importantly I do it  to grow as a human being. 

Yesterday I spent almost 5 hours cleaning and much of the time I was angry. I was trying to figure out why a very specific group of people seem to have such an interest in my personal life due to what someone else has said about me and actually judge me based off that.  I could not make it make sense in my head why no one would actually come to me and ask me. Why not do the research?   I could not understand what is so interesting about me. I could not understand how people could be so critical.  By the time I was done I realized that maybe I was no different. I jokingly had refered to this group as the Paparazzi. I was really feeling like this was a cold-hearted group of people who found joy in exploiting me and never without the whole story and certainly always without my side.  Maybe I, too, had passed judgement.  Maybe I didn’t understand their perception either.  I wanted to defend myself, and trust me I have evidence, but I have a tendency to not express myself. I tend to do what I think I have to do and quite frankly don’t think anyone should question me. (That’s my ego issue as well) After a while I began to think  about how every action has a reaction and how God granted us free will, and I began to wonder what spiritual lessons were needing to be embraced.

This morning I sit in peace.  The past few weeks I have been reminded of so many things.  Some of the things that seemed so painful were actually eye-opening experiences that allowed me to see myself differently, to see myself as good and lovable. A very dear friend reminded me about how our perception distorts our experience of our blessings. All people and experiences are blessings as long as you choose to see the good in all that occurs. Awareness is vital to living a spiritual life because it is in that awareness that we have the knowledge to choose our next steps, to choose the path we desire. With awareness we see all sides and do not pass judgement.  Events and people simply are what they are. We learn to detach and not take these events so personally but to perceive them as opportunities to grow. To grow spiritually, our true purpose.

With this new awareness I choose to send love to all, even those who judge me.  I have judged them and I have judged myself.  I am not a “saint” to be honored today. I am a spirit living on earth learning and growing. That is what we are suppose to do. I was reminded of the importance of this and of the importance of live in several emails the past few days.

My daily affirmation from about.com

I love myself unconditionally.  It is not my job to be judge or jury.  I support my life decisions fully.  I acknowledge my weaknesses. I grow stronger and wiser every day.

My daily “Thought to Ponder” from Urantia

…”I have absolute confidence in my heavenly Father”s overcare; I am consecrated to doing the will of my Father in heaven. I do not believe that real harm can befall me; I do not believe that my lifework can really be jeopardized by anything my enemies might wish to visit upon me, and surely we have no violence to fear from our friends. I am absolutely assured that the entire universe is friendly to me-this all-powerful truth I insist on believing with a wholeheartedly trust in spite of all appearances of the contrary.”

And a wonderful link to a what Jesus might have to say if he was interviewed today


All of these emails were my confirmation to write about the most important topic-spirituality.  Spirituality is not about being a specific religion and making another wrong.  As Jesus may have said in the above interview, passing judgment is not our job. I believe our job is to learn, to learn patience and acceptance and to teach it in the way we live our daily lives.

May the rest of your life be the best of your life!


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