This week I am going to tackle the second step in healing and love that transforms lives: Acceptance. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist and Type A personality who also loves to be in control, acceptance didn’t come naturally. In fact, of all the 5 steps: Awareness, Acceptance, Attitude, Action, and Acknowledgement, this one was the most challenging for me.
Acceptance requires that you surrender. (Not a comfortable place for a control freak) What you resist persist and sometimes with vengeance. As appealing as it may be in a fleeting moment, you can not control people, places, or events. Freedom arrives when you give people the space to be who they are, when you accept the moment as it, and when you quit trying to control the outcome.
Acceptance requires forgiveness. This means taking an honest look at who you are and what your role is in the situation or relationship. There is a quote that says that being angry at someone is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about you. And it is your choice.
Acceptance requires mourning. In order to accept a spouse, a parent, a career, or the painful moments that you allowed to define you, you first must mourn the loss of your expectations and what you didn’t receive. You have to feel the pain of lost moments, lost love, lost goals, and let them be.
And acceptance requires that you accept yourself. Yes, you have to love yourself too. The hippie in me is going to preach for a moment on self-love. Too often we spend our time trying to accomplish things or trying to please other people. We end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and resentful. We would spend less time on the aspects of forgiveness if forgave ourselves and practiced being kind to ourselves.
This week I encourage you to take some time to reflect on what it means to accept yourself and to be kind to you. Try one of these; spend some time in nature, take a bubble bath, schedule a night away, take a nap, eat something healthy, call a friend, or come up with your own ideas. Just do it!
Amy S McCae
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Have a beautiful day!