With the holiday season officially over and the New Year fast approaching goal setting is a hot topic. It is almost common knowledge that January is the busiest month of the year for gym owners. Many of those gym goers are no longer making it to workout by the time March rolls around. (5 Steps to goal setting success with peace of mind at the bottom).
If you have a Type A, driven personality the idea of setting new goals and planning can be an exiting time. However, if you never feel satisfied and expect or demand perfection from yourself or others you may be looking back wishing and wondering if you could have done more or tried harder.
” The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers
It makes zero difference what your goals are from fitness to business to relationships. If you do not accept yourself where you are as well as accept who you are you will be fighting an uphill battle to achieve what you seek. You may never feel peace and happiness on the journey or you may reach the goal and still seek more AND more…
Perfectionism is a way to protect yourself from actually looking deep into who you are. Perfectionism is a distraction that allows you to stay so busy that you never have to stop and pay attention to what you really need or want OR FEEL. Perfectionism is also in the eye of the beholder so if you are seeking to please others or working ridiculously hard to prove to others you are worthy you are never going to feel satisfied.
Wisdom is being mindful of who you are and making conscious choices in line with your values to achieve happiness and success in health, relationships, and business. It is knowing the difference between pleasing others and pleasing yourself. Wisdom is accepting yourself exactly as you are now. It is from this space that all goals and dreams become reality and do so with ease.
So… how do you accept yourself where you are and set goals that allow you to feel happy and satisfied?
- Get a planner that you love. (I can’t have one with flowers or designs and it must have monthly and daily and the days must be across the page starting with Sunday) Who knew? But… this works for me.
- Choose only 1 or 2 areas of life to work in. You can use a Wheel of Life worksheet to rate and to determine which is best. When you commit to change one the rest will follow, its natures law.
- Evaluate your Core Values. Use worksheets to determine these if you are unsure. Choose your goals based off what you love and are passionate about. Journal about your childhood passions if you are struggling to remember. Setting a goal that doesn’t matter to you or is something you think you “should” do will never bring you true satisfaction.
- THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT STEP! Practice finding joy. Practice being appreciative. Seriously revel in the moments that feel good. I am not a gambling woman, but I would bet that if you take the time to notice your thoughts you will find a pattern of regretting or rehearsing the past in your mind or fearing and wondering about the future. What if instead you thought about what was good right now? You can start this easily… right now… Each day find joy in where you are or what you are doing. Each day find moments, even if brief, that you feel satisfied. Sit in that satisfaction and soak it all in. Even if it seems silly or small. It is not…It is easiest to start this by practicing when you first wake up or when you go to bed. I don’t care if it is basking in the sunlight shining through the window for one minute when you wake or snuggling the softest pillow appreciating that you have a soft, warm bed when you go to sleep at night. You can try this out while driving, while cooking, while working. Just find moments to be happy, joyful, and satisfied and more will come.
- THE OTHER SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT STEP! Be kind to yourself. Give to you. Take some time to meditate daily. You can not always be in state of “doing.” You must have quiet and space to be open to receiving. Even if it is as simple as two minutes of mindful breathing. The clarity, peace, and awareness this brings can alone can be transformational.
Wishing you a joyous and satisfying new year!
Certified Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher
Free phone consultation https://amymccae.as.me/
Amy McCae is a Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher in Omaha, Nebraska. She is passionate about healing and helping others and especially about mindfulness and emotional intelligence.
Amy spent her childhood dreaming of being a doctor only to watch her other die of cancer when she was 20. Her life took an entirely different direction after that and she spent much of her 20’s sick with chronic illnesses.
One day Amy was too sick to take care of her newborn baby and she had to crawl to the phone to call for help. Amy then went on a quest to heal and looked in places she never knew existed before that day. AND she healed largely through fitness, nutrition, and meditation.
The experience allowed her to rediscover her passion for healing and helping others. Amy now holds numerous certifications allowing her to be of support to individuals and organizations. Mindfulness Matters is an accredited 8-week online course rooted in science and inspired by her desire to help others develop emotional intelligence (especially leaders and those struggling with self-doubt and overwhelm). Please contact Amy for more information and to sign up!