I’m not bossy and I’m not a control freak. I just have better ideas than you.
Sometimes when people appear to be bossy or controlling there is more to the story…
As child I remember being meticulous about things being in order. My clothes in my closet faced a certain direction and were hung colored coded and according to season, my music alphabetized, and my grades perfect. I worked hard to control every aspect of my environment.
As an adult I have often done the same things to an even deeper extent both personally and professionally. I strive for excellence in all that I do and used to wish I could control people, places, and events so that they quit messing up my plans.
Middle age and painful life experiences have this way of insuring that you deal with your sh*t. In my late thirties I began having panic attacks to the point of not being able to function for hours afterwards. I also started waking up having panic attacks thinking I was going to die. Imagine waking up not being able to breath or control your body… Looking back I always had anxiety but was masking it in any way I could.
Through a lot of personal development work I realized that deep down I am not a control freak after all. When I feel anxious I will try to find something to control. The other night I was cooking and thinking about a personal situation that was hurting me. Suddenly I felt the need to organize, control, and clean something. Instead of doing that I stopped, took a breath, and asked myself what was really going.
“People with anxiety don’t have a train of thought. We have 7 trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.” (Survivors Stand Tall/ Facebook)
Meditation and mindfulness have been my saving Grace. They have taught me how to breath, how to focus, and how to help myself. What I have learned is that I am not controlling but I do sometimes experience anxiety. The source of that anxiety is caused by my thoughts and feelings about a situation or person that I don’t have control over. Why would I want to control the person or situation? Because I feel insecure, unworthy, unsafe and that scares me. FEAR…
The next time you find yourself feeling the need to control a situation or the next time you notice you are feeling anxious try asking yourself some questions:
What is this really about?
What emotion am I feeling?
What outcome do I want?
How can I be at peace with this person or situation if it doesn’t turn out as I would like?
What things can I do for myself to create the my preferred feelings?
Not everyone experiences anxiety the same way. If you have anxiety or panic attacks please make sure you see the proper professional for you.
Wishing peace and joy.
Certified Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher
Free phone consultation https://amymmcae.as.me/
Amy McCae is a Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher in Omaha, Nebraska. She is passionate about healing and helping others. Amy holds numerous certifications allowing her to support individuals and organizations.
Mindfulness Matters is an accredited, neuroscience based, emotional intelligence program created for developing visionary and conscious leaders. Many leaders struggle with self-doubt and overwhelm. This course insures you gain clarity, confidence, success, and will even help improve your relationships and health!!
Amy spent her childhood dreaming of being a doctor only to watch her mother die of cancer when she was 20. Her life took an entirely different direction after that and she spent much of her 20’s sick with chronic illnesses.
One day Amy was too sick to take care of her newborn baby and she had to crawl to the phone to call for help. Amy then went on a quest to heal and looked in places she never knew existed before that day. AND she healed largely through fitness, nutrition, and meditation.
Contact Amy today!!! firstname.lastname@example.org