Not for one second do I believe that “time heals all wounds.” This catchy, all too often used phrase, intended to pacify someone in pain simply isn’t always true. True healing requires truth not time; truth about who you really are, truth about how you feel, truth about your relationships, and truth about your choices. Healing requires an entirely new level of self-awareness, a willingness to be honest, and a capacity to be receptive to change.
” Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed with food, with alcohol, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; but eventually, it will ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.” Iyanla Vanaznt
My chosen career field arose out my own suffering. I am no stranger to pain and my stubbornness and perfectionism have often proven to be less than ideal in numerous situations… Being in the business of helping people I still find myself seeking to help people feel better through inspiration and positivity. However, the truth is sometimes the truth hurts.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung
Carl Jung is/was a famous psychologist and psychiatrist who made numerous contributions int these fields of study. Jung proposed that everyone’s personality includes four Jungian Archetypes that help you understand your behaviors and they also influence the way you think and act. One of those aspects is referred to as “The Shadow” or the “the dark side of the psyche, representing wildness, chaos, and the unknown.” (learning-mind.com) Jung believed in the power of the unconscious mind and understood that repressing your desires or qualities you stifle your growth.
Uncovering your “darkness” will lead you to healing. These are aspects, ideas, beliefs, attitudes, traits, behaviors, and feelings that you are not aware of, have avoided or refused to acknowledge. It is through your acceptance of yourself wholeheartedly that you will find true healing, peace of mind, happiness, and freedom. AND you will be able to make conscious decisions!
As always, I am going to suggest meditation and mindfulness. You have to quiet all the chatter in your mind to get the truth. Silence speaks. ALWAYS. Mindfulness at its simplest means to pay attention on purpose and be at peace with the moment despite any “chaos.” They both lead to self-awareness which is an aspect of emotional intelligence desperately needed in our society.
In meditation you can ask for the answers. If you simply stop, notice your breathing for a few minutes, focus on your chest and then your heart, gently bringing your awareness back each time your mind wanders, notice how you feel, think of situations and then notice how you feel, think of certain people and ask questions and notice what comes to you. The idea is not to pass judgment on what you are feeling, thinking, or experiencing. Journal about these experiences!!! Please note that sometimes things or feelings come up that are bothersome if that occurs always ask for help.
During the day you can practice mini moments of mindfulness. How do you feel when you see a meme or post on social media? How do you feel when talking to your boss? How do you feel while cooking dinner? How do you feel in traffic? How do you feel when home alone? Are you emotionally reacting or consciously choosing your actions? What are the thoughts in your mind during these experiences? Sometimes when you can not get in touch with the feeling knowing the thought will lead you to the feelings. My awareness of my thoughts has often lead me to understanding my beliefs and my judgments. Not always easy… but so worthwhile.
Never fear the “shadows” as they remind you that there is light nearby. Remember that what you resist persists. Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know at the time. It is in your acknowledgement of ALL OF YOU that you will find healing.
Amy S McCae
Certified Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher AND MORE!
Amy specializes in helping leaders overcome self-doubt and overwhelm so they can have clarity, confidence, and peace of mind. She offers Mindfulness Matters an accredited online course with or without Life Coaching to individuals and corporations. Amy also as offers classes, presentations, and seminars and even energy work.
Mindfulness Matters is an accredited, neuroscience based, emotional intelligence program created for developing visionary and conscious leaders. Many leaders struggle with self-doubt and overwhelm. This course insures you gain clarity, confidence, success, and will even help improve your relationships and health!!
Amy spent her childhood dreaming of being a doctor only to watch her mother die of cancer when she was 20. Her life took an entirely different direction after that and she spent much of her 20’s sick with chronic illnesses.
One day Amy was too sick to take care of her newborn baby and she had to crawl to the phone to call for help. Amy then went on a quest to heal and looked in places she never knew existed before that day. AND she healed largely through fitness, nutrition, and meditation.
Though that experience Amy rediscovered a passion for helping others. She is committed to excellence and to making a difference in the world.
Contact Amy today!!! firstname.lastname@example.org