Do you emotionally react or consciously choose? Tips to develop emotional intelligence, resiliency, and compassion.

“Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles, and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself?” Lao Tzu

Through mindfulness based practices you learn to cultivate curiosity and kindness through non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and even other people. This does not mean that you sit around feeling happy all of the time or that everything goes exactly as you wish and certainly not that other people do what you think they should. It means you have enough self-awareness to make a conscious decision even when things aren’t as ideal you would like.

The one thing you have control of is your reaction.

Have you ever walked into a room and felt the “anger” in the room or a heaviness or it just felt off? Have you ever been in a conversation that you began as happy and ended feeling sad? Have you ever read an email or text and got frustrated despite the words being clear?

Emotion Contagion is essentially “catching” another’s feelings. You can even unconsciously begin to mimic gestures and behaviors of the people you are around. Mirror neurons are brain cells that react both when you perform a task as well as observe someone performing the same task and are the reason you have the ability to feel someone’s feelings.

Empathy is the ability to share and understand the feelings of others. Compassion is what moves you to want to reduce another’s suffering. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand other people’s feelings as well as your own, discern between the two, and instead of emotionally reacting, choose consciously your response.

There are some things you can do to help you “let the mud settle” and get into the frame of mind where you are less likely to regret your decisions and more likely to reduce stress and anxiety. The following practices will help you cultivate emotional intelligence, resiliency, empathy, compassion, and even improve your communication.

*You always have the right to say you need a minute. 60 seconds can change your life.

*Take a few mindful breaths-Science proves this activates your parasympathetic nervous system which means it will help you relax, science says so…

*Put your feet on the ground, sense your toes, sense your hands, or sense your core area- Be grounded, you will feel more confident and centered.

*Name what you are feeling, sense where it is in your body, get to know it- Affect labeling has been proven to rewire the brain by calming the amygdala and allowing you access to higher levels of thinking via the pre-frontal cortex.

*Listen to understand, not reply.

*Remember everyone is fighting a battle you may know nothing about.

*Remember you don’t fight for peace you peace for peace.

*AND LAST but certainly not least practice a Loving Kindness Meditation- This can look as simple as saying to yourself “May I be at ease, May I be at peace, May I be loved, May I be well. Then, saying it to another as May you…. Get into those feelings of compassion, revel in them for you and send it to others.

If you would like to dig a little deeper into these ideas or if you are struggling please click and set up a FREE PHONE CONSULT

Sending blessings, well wishes, compassion, and joy,

Amy McCae

Life and Executive Coach. Mindfulness Meditation Teacher. Intuitive Energy Coach.