Compassion Fatigue or Empathy Fatigue?

Later this month I am speaking to a group of nurses on how to use Mindfulness for Compassion Fatigue. Although my presentation is mostly I complete, I spent a few hours yesterday researching to add greater depth to my understanding.

Compassion Fatigue is an extreme state of stress resulting from helping those suffering and a preoccupation with the suffering of others. Although incredibly common in healthcare, parents and other caregivers may also struggle. It occurs when you do not recognize and take care of your own needs.

Psychologists now regard Compassion Fatigue as Empathy Fatigue. As humans we are hard wired to be empathetic. Mirror neurons allow for you to feel another’s pain and suffering and this is what moves you to be being compassionate and wanting to help. Empathy drives compassion. It is when you can’t separate another’s pain and suffering from your own and don’t make choices to take care of yourself that problems develop.

Awareness is always the first step in any type of healing. If you don’t know your limitations, if you don’t know your boundaries, if you don’t know how you are feeling, if you don’t know how to reduce stress, and if you don’t how to practice self-care then you are putting yourself at risk.

Mindfulness means to be in the present moment and be at peace. Mindfulness based practices allow you learn how to stop and reconnect to yourself. The process of going inward allows you to understand what is going on within and around you. Mindfulness cultivates curiosity, kindness, and even compassion but in a way that allows you to take care of your own needs.

One popular mindful self-care practice referred to as ” Loving Kindness” may look something like this:

Take a moment to sit down and notice your breathing. Put your hand over your heart. Close your eyes if it feels good to do so. Mentally repeat,”May I be at peace, May I be well, May I be loved, May I be happy. (You can choose any words that feel good and that are kind and compassionate). Put your other hand on your heart. Notice the difference. Choose a mantra again and repeat it. Notice how you feel when you are done.

There are numerous ways to do this practice and countless other Mindfulness skills you can learn to do easily and implement right now, even for two minutes.

To learn more about how Mindfulness can help you or your organization please set up a time to visit with me by phone http://amymcae.as.me/focussession.

Thank you,

Amy McCae

Corporate Wellness Trainer. Life Coach. Mindfulness Meditation Teacher. Holistic Wellness Expert.

www.amymccae.com

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The Art of Mindful Communication

” The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Benard Shaw

Can you hear me now?

I have often joked that monk on a mountain may have an easier time as he isn’t stuck dealing with people. We all have had a family member, boss, or colleague that we felt challenged by and needed to have a conversation to resolve the issues. Since you likely can’t retreat from the world you might as well learn how to communicate effectively.

A mindful conversation includes three parts; listening, looping, and dipping. For the details on how to practice scroll down…I find it considerably easier to practice with clients or just to practice than I do in “real” life or with certain people and relationships. Be easy on yourself and just practice. Remember kindness and curiosity go a long way.

AND so does perspective…

Being the oldest of four children I am always amazed at how differently we each view the same event. I can sit with my siblings discussing a prior holiday and some how we each have our own version as well as our own feelings. Same event, same people, completely different experience for each one of us. Remember this when dealing with others; your perception of what is occurring is different from the person you are communicating with.

Imagine an optical illusion you have seen in the past. Were you able to see it different ways or did it take a while? It is always interesting to me that we see things one way and may not even notice other ways unless someone points other options out to us. Suddenly we then have new options for our perception. Our awareness has broadened and we are now more open-minded and receptive. Remember this in your conversations. You want people to understand your perspective so be open to theirs as well. Passing judgement will only hurt you and them. Being compassionate for yourself and others will assist you greatly.

Mindful listening is the practice of giving your attention to another person moment to moment. Let’s be honest and think how often our minds wander to other things when we are with other people.  When your mind gets away and your attention wanders you simply notice and gently bring it back to the person. Being present with another person and listing to them feels like an act of compassion and kindness. You can even do it with strangers!

Looping is a process that looks like this: One person is speaking and then the other repeats back what they believe they heard.  The speaker then gives feedback and the listener again repeats until the the speaker feels understood. Your perception and awareness expand.

What is referred to as “dipping” is checking in with yourself. We are often distracted by our own thoughts, sensations, and experiences. This is useful for both the speaker and the listener. When you get distracted just notice without judgement. Name the emotion, notice the sensation, acknowledge the thought.

To practice formally you can get a partner and explore the following. Speaker one will speak for four minutes and speaker two will listen. Then, speaker two will repeat what speaker one said in an attempt to understand for four to six minutes. When one is speaking the other must be silent. You also must not try to “fix” the speaker’s problem. You aren’t listening to reply either. You are listening for them to feel heard and validated.

Remember also that you are continually checking in with yourself, perhaps sensing your body or noticing your breath, acknowledging your feelings. This insures you are present, consciously choosing your response, being kind and curious, and that you resolve problems.

Mindful Breathing, Mindful Emotions (Affect Labeling), and a Body Scan are a few core practices in mindfulness based practices so… if you practice these on your own then when you are having a conversation!!

If you would like to learn more about how mindfulness and mindful communication can help you or your organization please set up a phone consultation https://amymccae.as.me/focussession

Thank you,

Amy McCae

Corporate Wellness Trainer, Life Coach, and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher

www.amymccae.com

Stress Less Now; Five Steps to Self-Empowerment and Peace of Mind

Over the years I taught these steps and practices to numerous people and countless organizations. The practices are Awareness, Acceptance, Attitude, Action, and Acknowledgement. Each one of these has a skill set for you to practice.

The guide was created with the intention of helping you in reducing stress and overwhelm, gaining clarity and confidence, and developing compassion and emotional intelligence. If you practice the skills you have the capacity to transform your health, relationships, and success.

Take a look here:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VODblJW0RA7DjCXCo7OYBgHlUedmcBpZ/view?usp=sharing

Thank you,

Amy McCae

Certified Life Coach, Executive Coach and Trainer, Mindfulness Meditation Teacher

www.amymccae.com

The Essential Guide to Happiness (but with a twist…)

I recall a day close to my fortieth birthday where I was scrolling Facebook and came across a blog for “Women Over 40.” I rolled my eyes and thought; “Oh good grief I am now in that category.” I spent my birthday at a fake 80’s big hair band concert wishing I was sixteen again.

Forty came and went and at forty-one I found myself divorced with three and twelve-year- old daughters. I had packed and left in a day only a few months before…Several months after I turned forty- two I noticed my body was changing, I received a break up text from someone I loved, and my thoughts and ideas on life and people were shifting. I was no longer so disconnected from myself or my feelings. This was both painful and empowering.

The following is something I found during those years and saved as I feel it still relevant to living happily.

” It has been one the greatest and most difficult years of my life. I have learned everything is temporary. Moments. Feelings. People. Flowers. I learned love is about giving-everything-and letting it hurt. I learned vulnerability is always the right choice because it is easy to be cold in a world that makes it so very difficult to remain soft. I learned all things come in twos “life and death, pain and joy, sugar and salt, me and you. It is the balance of the Universe. It has been the year of hurting so bad but living so good, making friends out of strangers, making strangers out of friends… We must learn to focus on warm energy, always. Soak our limbs in it and become better lovers to the world, for if we can’t learn to be kinder to each other how we will we ever learn to be kinder to the most desperate parts of ourselves. (Rupi Kaur)

As I approach 45 I realize I could write you 351 articles and guides to happiness, however…

The truth is your guide is simply to love. To love yourself, love others, and love your experiences. To love your so called mistakes and all your beautiful imperfections. To love those who hurt you. To love the ground below your feet, the stars in the sky, the bed that you sleep in…

Allow yourself to just BE.

The path to love is TO BE in this moment. Embrace it. Every. Moment. Allow love to flow from you. Hold the child, hug the friend, kiss your spouse, paint the picture, create the pottery, write the poetry, build the software, design the program, lead the organization, feed your body good food, move your body, use your skills for good, laugh, cry, be vulnerable, give compliments, plant the garden, see greatness in others, be kind, play.

Sending you all the joy, peace, and LOVE you can imagine and more,

Amy McCae

Certified Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. COMPLEMENTARY PHONE CONSULThttps://amymccae.as.me/

www.amymccae.com

www.creativewellnessomaha.com  

Amy specializes in helping leaders overcome self-doubt and overwhelm so they can have clarity, confidence, and peace of mind for better health, relationships, and success. She offers Mindfulness Matters an accredited online course with or without Life Coaching to individuals and corporations. Amy also offers Life Coaching packages, classes, presentations, and seminars as well as several types of energetic healing.

Mindfulness Matters is an accredited, neuroscience based, emotional intelligence program created for developing visionary and conscious leaders. Many leaders struggle with self-doubt and overwhelm. This course insures you gain clarity, confidence, success, and will even help improve your relationships and health!!

Amy spent her childhood dreaming of being a doctor only to watch her mother die of cancer when she was 20. Her life took an entirely different direction after that and she spent much of her 20’s sick with chronic illnesses.

One day Amy was too sick to take care of her newborn baby and she had to crawl to the phone to call for help. Amy then went on a quest to heal and looked in places she never knew existed before that day. AND she healed largely through fitness, nutrition, and meditation.

Through that experience Amy rediscovered a passion for helping others. She is committed to excellence and to making a difference in the world.

Contact Amy today!!! creativewellness@cox.net

Cultivating Compassion: The Energy of Emotion

When someone smiles do you smile back? The energy of a smile :).

After a long winter with far too much snow shoveling, I welcome the sound of birds chirping, the smell of rain, the green grass, and the way the warm sun feels on my skin. While winter seems to be a time to reflect and hibernate, spring brings a vibrant energy that makes me smile and motivates me. The energy of winter feels different than the energy of summer and I feel different.

Have you ever walked into a familiar room or into a meeting in a bad mood and suddenly be uplifted by the positivity you feel? Is there someone in your life that every time you are with them you walk away feeling drained? We often refer to this as the “energy” of a room or being “empathetic.”

Google defines energy as the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity. (1st definition) Quantum physics states that absolutely everything in the Universe is made up of energy. Einstein said that energy could not be created or destroyed it could only be transformed. Everything is energy including your emotions.

There is a phenomenon referred to as emotion contagion. In it’s simplest terms this means that you unconsciously mimic another person’s non-verbal clues and feel the reflection of those people’s emotions. You can “catch” emotions.” Think of a time when someone was crying and you began to cry, they may even stop crying when you start. Imagine a time you were sitting at your desk angry and a co-worker walked in and knew to walk out without you saying a word. How about when a child was sad, how did you feel? Spouse have a headache and suddenly you do to? You are designed to be empathetic so that you can develop compassion.

“Compassion is the basis of morality.” Arthur Schopenhauer

Mirror neurons are brain cells that react both when you perform an action as well as when you observe someone else performing that same action. When you watch someone get pricked with a needle you know what they are feeling but you don’t physically feel the same pain in your finger. You may even almost move your hand but you won’t because of your brain circuitry. Mirror neurons enable you to view another’s state from a virtual reality standpoint and you become empathetic. This allows you to feel compassion which will motivate you to action. Isn’t the world a better place when you are compassionate?

Empathy and compassion are vital skills in personal development, professional successes, and all relationships. Below are simple MINDFUL ways to practice.

1. Practice a body scan (Mindfulness Meditation)
2. Listen to understand not to reply
3. When overwhelmed by emotions and unsure of where it is coming from start asking; “Is this mine?”
4. Practice Affect Labeling (Mindful Emotions)
5. When in a challenging situation notice your breath, practice the pause
6. Make a list of ways you can influence energy
7. Make a list of actions you can take related to being compassionate
8. The simple act of meditating cultivates compassion for yourself and others!!! Meditate today 🙂

Sending you all the joy, peace, and love you can imagine!

To learn more about how Amy can support you please set up a complimentary 20 minute phone focus https://amymccae.as.me/

Amy McCae

Certified Life Coach and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher and MORE

http://www.amymccae.com

http://www.creativewellnessomaha.com

Amy specializes in helping leaders overcome self-doubt and overwhelm so they can have clarity, confidence, and peace of mind. She offers Mindfulness Matters an accredited online course with or without Life Coaching to individuals and corporations. Amy also as offers classes, presentations, and seminars as well as several types of energetic healing.

COMPLEMENTARY PHONE CONSULThttps://amymccae.as.me/

Mindfulness Matters is an accredited, neuroscience based, emotional intelligence program created for developing visionary and conscious leaders. Many leaders struggle with self-doubt and overwhelm. This course insures you gain clarity, confidence, success, and will even help improve your relationships and health!!

Amy spent her childhood dreaming of being a doctor only to watch her mother die of cancer when she was 20. Her life took an entirely different direction after that and she spent much of her 20’s sick with chronic illnesses.

One day Amy was too sick to take care of her newborn baby and she had to crawl to the phone to call for help. Amy then went on a quest to heal and looked in places she never knew existed before that day. AND she healed largely through fitness, nutrition, and meditation.

Through that experience Amy rediscovered a passion for helping others. She is committed to excellence and to making a difference in the world.

Contact Amy today!!! creativewellness@cox.net

Mindful Relationships

Christmas 2015 at my dad’s house :). I love my family!

Oh… holiday season. The time of the year when we are reminded to be grateful, joyful, and of the dynamics of our family relationships.

I believe people are in our lives for a reason. I don’t believe in accidents. I believe that if you look closely at your relationships that you gain an understanding of yourself, that you heal parts of  you that hurt, and that you cultivate compassion for yourself and others. The world needs this and so do your family and friends. People, both the ones you adore and the ones that challenge you, are there to teach you. Your experiences with others can bring you great joy and peace and transform your world if you pay attention.

This year as you head out to go shopping, as you wrap presents, decorate the house, bake goodies, and attend family gatherings be mindful. Instead of just going through the motions be present. Don’t just buy presents, be present. Take the time to be grateful. Take the time to breath. Take the time to listen. Take the time to feel. Take the time to be kind. Take the time to laugh. You may be surprised how much better each day and each moment is when you can take the time to be mindful.

This year give more hugs, spend more time, love more deeply and cherish each moment. Make a gratitude list and share it with your family. Donate food, donate your time. Take a nap, play a game, read a book, learn to knit, see a play, or simply have tea with friends. Are time for peace, love and joy.

Excellence in Love is a program that I created teaching relationship skills. The practices are Awareness, Acceptance, Attitude, Action, and Acknowledgment. The practices create a new level of self-awareness allowing you to live an authentic and empowered.  If you would like a FREE pdf please email me at creativewellness@cox.net  You can also listen to me speak about these skills by visiting my website www.amymccae.com  (rated #6 out of 40 speakers, top 3 were the organizers, Vibrant Life Summit)

Want to learn more of how I can support you please visit https://amymccae.acuityscheudling.com/  to set up a time to talk to me!

Love the people you have in your life 🙂

Happy Holidays!

Amy McCae

www.amymccae.com

I am the oldest of four children all who are married with children. Our children range from age 20 to one on the way! My mother is not alive and I am divorced so we are missing a few in this pictures. The past six years both of my grandmother’s, both of my father’s sisters, a man that was like a grandfather to me, and a brother and sister of my mother’s have all left this world. This picture is my immediate family and includes my then 94 year old grandfather who is still watching football and even occasionally drinks beer.