Being a holistic practitioner I am often curious about the body, mind, and of course, spirit. This curiosity lead me to many experiences in learning about life, death, and spirit. These experiences would transform my life. This past week brought several deep reminders of what death means. The subject of death and dealing with potentially terminally ill family came up at a meeting I host, Evolving Minds. Tomorrow, Saturday morning marks 20 years since my mother left this world. The past 6 months brought two eye opening experiences about my own mortality, and the past 10 years have been filled with surprises from the spiritual world.
I was only 20 when I lost my mother. She was only 41. As I sit here 40 years old and 20 years later I can not imagine being in her place. I can not imagine knowing I was going to die and leave my children. I have no idea how one prepares for such an event. I do not know what she would be like much past my own age now. I often wonder what kind of grandmother she would be and if she would be proud of who I grew up to be. And I even wonder what she would look like since I look so much like her. There is something that changes in a person when one reaches the age of their parent’s death. There is something that changes within a daughter when she loses a mother so young and spends decades wondering what it would be like to have a mother. The pain I felt eventually lead me to peace.
I have never believed in actual death. I have always believed that there was some part of me that would transcend this world. What that may look like or feel like I do not know, but I am receiving glimpses. My 40th birthday was in May and close to that time I had an experience that left me confident that there was an aspect of me that was not my physical body. That part of me was free. I spent the day crying and convincing myself that it was ok stay, I had things to finish here. I vowed to remember those feelings of peace and freedom and to carry them with me in this world. Then, late this summer I had an episode where I lost consciousness and someone had to revive me. I have no recollection of the event. Everything was black. And I wondered if that was what death was like?
Over the past 10 years I have had countless experiences that were not of this world. Some of them included loved ones who have passed. I do not have an explanation for this. I have tried to use science and that helps, but it can not really express the magnitude of such experiences. I am forever grateful to those loved ones that have reappeared reminding me that death is not real. Reminding me that some aspect of them is still with me. Thank you mom, Mr. Hennessey, Felix, and Ben Johnson. I loved you when you were here and I love you now.
These experiences allow me to have a greater respect for life. I take things a little slower, I am a little easier on myself, things that bothered me are easier to let go of, and I love people and experiences so much more deeply. I honor the experiences, even the painful ones like the loss of loved ones. Those experiences remind me of who I AM. Today, take some time to honor your life and your path and to also honor those that may no longer be here with you in the same way. Those loved ones may be closer than you thought.
Holistic Life Coach